Last year, Reso made an art, in form of spoken word poetry, about how his status quo during that time, IRL and virtually in the community. I sampled him for this song that was originally a collab with Shius.
Somehow my creativity ended up with this idea of relating to him while trying to console him that he's too young to call it quits with everything yet. Surely enough, few months passed after his whole ordeal and he's in a way way better spot in the underground side of the fandom. While i still don't know where i am there, but i don't care about it anymore as long as i can still make music.
lyrics
[Reso]
Isn't it strange
how the days and nights seem to blend
'til I just can't see the light anymore?
How I'm trapped in it's spell, all alone, it just hurts
but I'm just here, on my own,
all my fears take control, I can't see,
just this primal urge to protect what's left of me.
From all sides, it attacks.
I can't think,
there's no time to step back and link the pain to reality,
I just can't hear, I just can't breathe.
It's all the same, it all repeats, same old story, same defeats
[Fukase]
Up in your feet
tell the whole world that you ain't been beaten yet
every melody's indefinite feature set
buried in rough mixes, soft hisses
hit-or-miss-es, daft senses in your mind
Making up answers just to be justifyin'
all of the mess that's bested by
death defying overthinking until it's fine
What your muses gonna do when your quota is overdue
and they see you an easy dude to overthrew
What would you do if they cancel you and then censor you and then slander you
and then banter whoever they accuse just so they can act true
[Reso]
But I just keep trying all the same,
not understanding due to pain
that there's nothing left to say, they'll never listen,
just obey the blind command
of one who sits with hoards of mindless drones to use as fits.
I'm just a scapegoat, nothing more,
the perfect victim to abhor,
betrayed by everyone I knew
until I have no one left to help me
deal with all these thoughts I'm thinking,
of the only true escape,
a way to free me from this hate
but leave destruction in my wake.
[Fukase]
I say one day,
I may have a say on who I wanna be
like Jessie Siren I'mma feel the sway
to the messy barren sounds that decays
But not now though, the fuck you know
about the feeling of being alone
in the low, seen as foe, cast a stone, told to go,
only to watch their fame grow
as you only get old
I wanna say that life's a curse
but the guy next door he had it worse
but they made it, succeded,
got even more things completed
without feeling so defeated
[Reso]
I just don't care,
there's nothing left for me,
my present barren.
future unseen and no matter what I do,
life won't have meaning like theirs do.
In the end, I'm nothing more
than just an spec of dust in the grand scheme of humanity.
I'll be forgotten quickly,
only remembered as the scapegoat,
perfect victim, Reson Lore, no longer me.
[Fukase]
you know?
do continue
[Reso]
It seems I'm truly doomed to fail,
I cannot even do what everyone is begging me to,
I'm just a failure, through and through,
the water brought me no solace,
I'm doomed to endure this violent torture til the end of time,
or when they all get bored of me and destroy another's restless mind
[Fukase]
you're finished?
*sighs*
Yet life ain't done, you know
way too soon to put down a frown, you know
I swear you'll be on a better place, better phase,
with a brighter face than right now, you know
I know this 'cause I confess
it's hard to express how you've grown so fast.
to a point what the annoying voice said to your head
won't make any sense in retrospect that's a fact
give your peers and yourself more time
five or four years to reach your prime
even steadier if you age it like a wine
just don't disappear and you might settle in fine
let the time slowly pass, then look at your past
and you'll wonder why'd you bother being this upset
well I gotta go now
we'll talk some other time, yeah?
bye
credits
released June 7, 2020
Monologue by Reson . (resop.bandcamp.com)
Art by Couname (twitter.com/counameh)
Vocaloid for giving Fukase the expressive boy vocal robot
Satoshi Fukase for voicing Fukase the Vocaloid
Tom Morello for some of the lead melodies on the endpart
Nebula & EX-P for being my 3rd and 4th ears
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